A beautiful young lady in her first year at university.Begging your pardon, I’ve decided to start with a digression. 2 days ago a certain Leslie ("The lady doth protest too much, methinks.") accused me of "lik[ing] to hear their (sic) own words, more than anything else". Indeed a serious accusation, to which I must plead guilty in order to maintain my reputation for complete honesty under all circumstances. Now I shall indulge.
I used the word “arras” as a vocabulary teaser in the introduction to that blog. My first encounter with arras was as a quite young lady, playing hide and seek, pirate style, sword in hand, with my father. I had taken up a clever ambush behind some floor-length draperies. Being both quite adept at discovering my hiding places and well-read in Shakespeare, he nearly instantly poked his foil into my midsection exclaiming, “How now, a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead! I’ll stab her through this arras!” Daddy was nearly right on, except that the weave in question was jacquard not tapestry. (certainly, at best, a quibble)
Decades later and ago I found myself babysitting one of those required and exceedingly dreadful freshman English composition courses at a private university here in Indiana. Hamlet was required reading. Heaven Forfend! (btw from Othello and also a rare example of the optative mood). Shakespeare wasn’t a class favorite believe you me. To make up for the difficult reading, we avoided making the students write. So the test was multiple-choice. Defining “arras” was one of the brilliant questions devised by the English department to test Shakespearian competence. Most students chose b) “a ceremonial sword”. Of course most students choose b) when they don’t know the answer so I didn’t take that to mean they actually thought it was a sword. c) “a wide curving staircase” was also a big hit, but then again, c is always a popular choice, just behind b in fact. I remember a young man, bright and shiny-faced expressing his disgust with being expected to know such a thing as arras. He had guessed b and got a d. I was amused. And I remain as much these many years later. Evidently his father wasn't a Shakespearean swashbuckler as was yours truly.
Digression over: back to Back to School Night at Knox High School. A father of an incoming 9th grader made the unwise choice of taking his child to this evening event. He was disgusted. The facility was dirty. The Principal was hostile. The teachers were not engaged. This father, having come up through private schooling, was expecting teacher presentations, syllabi, and a rulebook. One teacher did hand out a sheet of paper directing the students to bring pencil and paper to the first class. (Indeed! I think that is a good idea!) Perhaps if the school administration puts their heads together they might imagine some better scenario for this event. In any case, welcome to Knox High, home of the Redskins.
I used the word “arras” as a vocabulary teaser in the introduction to that blog. My first encounter with arras was as a quite young lady, playing hide and seek, pirate style, sword in hand, with my father. I had taken up a clever ambush behind some floor-length draperies. Being both quite adept at discovering my hiding places and well-read in Shakespeare, he nearly instantly poked his foil into my midsection exclaiming, “How now, a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead! I’ll stab her through this arras!” Daddy was nearly right on, except that the weave in question was jacquard not tapestry. (certainly, at best, a quibble)
Decades later and ago I found myself babysitting one of those required and exceedingly dreadful freshman English composition courses at a private university here in Indiana. Hamlet was required reading. Heaven Forfend! (btw from Othello and also a rare example of the optative mood). Shakespeare wasn’t a class favorite believe you me. To make up for the difficult reading, we avoided making the students write. So the test was multiple-choice. Defining “arras” was one of the brilliant questions devised by the English department to test Shakespearian competence. Most students chose b) “a ceremonial sword”. Of course most students choose b) when they don’t know the answer so I didn’t take that to mean they actually thought it was a sword. c) “a wide curving staircase” was also a big hit, but then again, c is always a popular choice, just behind b in fact. I remember a young man, bright and shiny-faced expressing his disgust with being expected to know such a thing as arras. He had guessed b and got a d. I was amused. And I remain as much these many years later. Evidently his father wasn't a Shakespearean swashbuckler as was yours truly.
Digression over: back to Back to School Night at Knox High School. A father of an incoming 9th grader made the unwise choice of taking his child to this evening event. He was disgusted. The facility was dirty. The Principal was hostile. The teachers were not engaged. This father, having come up through private schooling, was expecting teacher presentations, syllabi, and a rulebook. One teacher did hand out a sheet of paper directing the students to bring pencil and paper to the first class. (Indeed! I think that is a good idea!) Perhaps if the school administration puts their heads together they might imagine some better scenario for this event. In any case, welcome to Knox High, home of the Redskins.
4 comments:
Was this about porn?? “arras” is that slang for penis?? he nearly instantly poked his foil into my midsection exclaiming, “How now, a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead! I’ll stab her through this arras!” Was that something like the guy was pissed because she wasn't a virgin?
I like porn too
Do think that many of the kids in Knox high school wear a merkin? I bought a new one and I don't think anyone would ever be able to tell it's not the real thing. I know you have to have one yourself. Mine is a light and fluffy one.
As to your porn interpretation of my sweet childhood memories: yes, I find your interpretation plausible by postmodern academic standards. I think you should enroll in the Comparative Literature Department at IU forthwith. Then again maybe you have already done so. This would explain your precocity in such matters.
If you were trying to test my vocabulary, nice try, but sorry I am quite familiar with the word. An old "offbeat" flick that I happen to admire is "Can Heronimoius (sp?) Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Hump and Find True Happiness?” And in answer to your question, no.
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